Posted 6 hours ago

averagebare:

Fuck dating girls who are “naturally pretty.” Date girls who are supernaturally pretty. Date a hot-ass ghost. Date a fucking alien. 

(Source: slayboybunny)

Posted 6 hours ago

supersmashthestatebros:

okay, I lied. I don’t have my license to kill, but I do have my learner’s permit. as soon as my mom gets here, you’re toast.

Posted 6 hours ago

kimchi-kimi:

actual conversation

Posted 6 hours ago

feathery-soul:

depressing—quotes:

agnosticwitch:

feathery-soul:

sherlck:

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

helping others is always nice

also if you know someone you can’t stand leave some of their hair at the crime scene

Posted 7 hours ago

bloodpactgirlscout:

icantspellbuterfly:

bloodpactgirlscout:

so the saddest shortest story is attributed to hemingway:

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

and this came to me at breakfast and i thought it was hilarious. 

pls don’t ruin hemingway for me.

no i will continue to do that

Posted 7 hours ago

swolizard:

Some Guy Recreated a Bunch of Female Tinder Pics and They’re Glorious

I chose my favorites, but you can find the rest here

Posted 7 hours ago

aloha-filmhen:

theater-kid-probs:

The Alnwick Poison Garden is pretty much what you’d think it is: a garden full of plants that can kill you (among many other things). Some of the plants are so dangerous that they have to be kept behind bars. [x]

This is cool and creepy at the same time

spooksandspices
i think i should stay away from there because of my plant allergies 

(Source: bregma)

Posted 7 hours ago

missveryvery:

same guy who said this

he’s my fucking hero

Posted 7 hours ago

midesko:

youlovelamp:

thegits:

fish-boned:

shickalenia:

dduane:

thesuitsofwoah:

that’s almost too cruel
almost

I had to do this once with Privateer II: The Darkening. It gained a bit when he said “I bet you didn’t play it through, I bet somebody just told you how…” and I was able to smile gently and say “God, possibly, since I wrote the game.” And plainly the Deity was with me that day, as I happened to be carrying docs from my UK agent (who’d done the deal) that showed not only that I was the writer, but the five-figure sum I had been paid. …It was a happy day for me. Not so much for him. I’d never had a referent for the word “slink” for a full grown male before. As in “slink away in utter dejection.” I smiled for at least three days without stopping. And am smiling now… I had completely forgotten about this.

Reblogging because “I beat the game” is fantastic, but “I wrote the damn thing” is even better.

I’m not a gamer but I’ll always reblog these.

Vicious. I love it.

I would marry her.

This is why you don’t talk trash to girls we will tear you apart. Especially if you talk shit about our games.

(Source: maxofs2d)

Posted 7 hours ago

kyonsama:

kyonsama:

kyonsama:

From now on i’ll only accept anon hate in morse code

image

image

image

image

You better watch your fucking tone or i’m calling the cops

(Source: makotokikuchi)

Posted 7 hours ago

thatonebl0nde:

I laughed so fucking hard

(Source: sucked)

Posted 7 hours ago
Posted 7 hours ago

balloonicorned:

flowersinthegraveyard99:

This is actually how it goes

Valve

(Source: abused-kitten)

Posted 7 hours ago

sasuge:

the only first date dinner im accepting

image

Posted 7 hours ago